Ten reasons I really hate bicycles (and cyclists) in cities.

The following in this morning from an unidentified but  apparently pretty  disgruntled motorist who asked that we make his grievances widely known in the pages of World Streets.  So in the spirit of equal time and with no more ado, we turn over the bully pulpit to him. Sir?

  1. Well, first of all, they were all supposed to be out of here by now. It is extremely  irritating that after all we have spent and done to make our cities safe for cars that they are still out there clogging  the streets. This is not right.
  2. The machines themselves are not modern. I personally find them ugly, weak, underpowered . . . effeminate if you will.
  3. They get in the way of our cars and make drivers like myself (all drivers that is) nervous. They distract us and cause accidents.  That costs us real money.
  4. If you can believe it, there are cities that are even starting to take away street space intended for cars and converting it to bike use. This is insane and reactionary. We cannot allow it to continue.
  5. They are even starting to take up perfectly good parking spaces. And yet we all know that plentiful (and preferably free)  car parking holds the key to the successful city.
  6. I do not like cyclists.  They always take the moral high ground. They are uppity. They do not know their place. I find them wanton, aggressive and threatening.  It is a source of relief that I am separated and protected from them by my car’s hard shell and speed.
  7. They are a menace to me when I am trying to walk the short distances I have to cover by foot once I have parked my car. They are very dangerous.
  8. They look like garbage. Have you ever seen thousands of bikes parked in some kind of public space?
  9. Fortunately the bike industry is small change in terms of its economic and political reach, so the day will go to cars. More cars.
  10. Finally, did you know this?  They don’t even pay taxes. Now that’s just not right.

I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! I hope you are mad too and ready to do something about it. We need to get together and fight this menace.

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About the author:

This missive arrived this morning from a person who  refuses to identify himself; however he did attach  this photo for which we thank him warmly.

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Did we miss anything here? You are invited to comment, amend and complete this heartfelt cry from the heart.

The Editor

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8 responses to “Ten reasons I really hate bicycles (and cyclists) in cities.

  1. Either this is Swiftian satire or an entitled grump. How do you argue against an attitude? You don’t. I’ll just jump on my bike and enjoy my ride to work in the rain. Beats being another cause of congestion, death, climate change and anxiety.

    • That’s a healthy attitude Rex. On the other hand we can reach into the deep well of patience, give him a lot of rope, and listen point by point to what he has to say. And then, with a little luck, factor this knowledge into our strategy, so that we are a few steps ahead of him and them each time.

      Anyway, stay tuned over at World Streets, we have a few thoughts on all this which we hope will prove useful to at least some of our readers.

      Eric

  2. livinginabox

    The sad thing is that it isn’t too hard to find similar feelings being expressed in all seriousness.
    Projection bias, anyone?

  3. It´s so exagerated that sounds ironic…

  4. Assuming this is genuine. The fact is this person is either a severely Dunning-Kruger challenged idiot and thereby deluded by extreme ignorance, or a Troll, successfully imitating one.

  5. Left out the terrible scofflaw attitude of almost every cyclist, and the ones that aren’t scofflaws still get in the way.

    For a much more robust set of criticisms of cyclists, see any comments section in an Australian newspaper article about cycling!

  6. WHY FUCK YOU THEN YOU SHOULD RIDE A FUCKING BIKE EVERY FUCKING DAY WITH DRIVERS TRYING TO FUCKING RUN YOU OFF THE ROAD I HATE THESE IDIOTS THAT THINK CARS ARE THE BOSS, BITCH

  7. Bikes are the best new for of prissy, yuppy, trended and steered to think you are GREEN and SAVING the earth….. what brings the frames and all the components to you, and all the parts and rubber, lubes and greases and oils….. OH I see, You are completely fucking delusional.
    Enjoy being the blemish on a already polished turd they call GREEN

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